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Page Layout and Synopsis ©2001 by Darcy Partridge

The One With Rachel's Big Kiss

Episode 720

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Rachel runs into a former college sorority sister (Melissa) with whom she made out once, while drunk. Melissa claims not to remember the event, until Rachel kisses her again (just to prove a point); then Melissa reveals she's been in love with Rachel ever since. Monica discovers Joey has invited his parents to the wedding, so she has to re-arrange the guest seating. Chandler and Ross get celebrity tuxedos through Rachel at Ralph Lauren, but Chandler doesn't want Ross's Batman tux to out-shine his 007 tux.

The one where they said....

Phoebe: Oh, Rach, wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? I can't. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Joey: Can I come?! I won't even talk! You'll just hear the noise from my video camera.

Phoebe: What is this? What's going on?
Joey: Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!
Rachel: Well, do you want to hear what actually happened or Joey's lewd version?
Phoebe: Joey's!

Rachel: All right, you know what? If you don't want to believe me about this, why don't you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Phoebe: Okay, all right. Yeah, because I just can't picture it.
Joey: Oh-ho, you should get inside my head.

Melissa: ...anyway, his name is Allan and we've been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, that's great!
Melissa: Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority?
Phoebe: Of course. Yeah, I was, uh, um... Thigh Mega Tampon.
Melissa: What one?
Phoebe: Yeah! You know, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Melissa: Oh, isn't a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch?

Chandler: Ross is Batman!
Monica: Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Monica: What are you talking about? 007 has all those gadgets!
Chandler: Batman has a utility belt!
Monica: 007 has a fancy car.
Chandler: Batman has the Batmobile!
Monica: 007 gets all the ladies.
Chandler: Batman has Robin!

Rachel: How can you not remember us kissing?
Melissa: I don't know. I don't remember a lot of things that never happened.
Rachel: What? Come on! Remember? We were on the sleeping porch! We couldn't stop giggling? And our coconuts kept knockin' together?
Phoebe: Oh, somewhere Joey's head is exploding.

Rachel: Ah, look at you all handsome!
Chandler: Whose is it?
Rachel: Oh, does it matter? All that matters is that you look so handsome.
Chandler: Whose is it?
Rachel: I don't want to say.
Chandler: Oh, come on! I don't care! Come on! Whose is it?
Rachel: Diane Keeton.


Credits

Written by Shana Goldberg-Meehan and Scott Silveri
Directed by Gary Halvorson
Winona Ryder as Melissa Warburton
James Michael Tyler as Gunther (uncredited, probably an oversight)
Aired 4/26/2001, 7/5/2001