The guys' chicken is becoming a rooster. Phoebe undergoes the procedure to implant embryos in her uterus; the pressure is high as Frank Jr. and Alice can only afford the procedure once. Monica and Rachel bet that they know Chandler and Joey better than Chandler and Joey know them; Ross writes the questions (game show style) and eventually the stakes are raised: If the girls win, the chick and the duck have to go. If the guys win, they get the girls' apartment.
Joey: She's mad because I know today's her laundry day and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants.
Monica: I just can't believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Chandler: Well, we... we do. You can only eat Tic Tacs in even numbers.
Joey: Yeah, what's that about?
Chandler: And you... Ross, I believe if you check Rachel's bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Ross: You're good. These are not.
Dr. Zane: Okay, it'll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
Phoebe: Embryos? As in, "more than one?"
Dr. Zane: Um-hm. Five actually.
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, in a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
Phoebe: So, well okay, so is... maybe there's something that I can do, y'know, just to, like, help make sure I get pregnant?
Dr. Zane: No, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Wow! You guys really don't know anything!
Frank Jr: I know! Why don't you get drunk! That worked for a bunch of girls in my high school.
Ross: What is Monica's biggest pet peeve?
Joey: Animals dressed as humans.
Ross: That's correct.
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!
Ross: That is correct.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died. You both went to her funeral.
Name that grandmother!
Joey (to Chandler): Nana?
Chandler: She has a real name.
Joey: Althea!
Chandler: Althea? What are you doing?
Joey: I took a shot.
Chandler: You're shooting with Althea?
Ross: "Althea" is correct.
Chandler: Nice shooting!
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Oh! Chandler gets it! It's Chandler Bing!
Monica: No!
Ross: I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to "Chanandelor Bong."
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use your head!
Chandler: Actually, it's Miss Chanandelor Bong.
Ross: What is the name of Chandler's father's Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Monica: Viva Las Gaygas!
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.
Monica: You guys are dead. I am so good at lighting rounds.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds, all right? We're gonna destroy you.
Monica: Uh, wanna bet?
Chandler: Well, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far.
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I don't know about this.
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand.
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?
Ross: What was Monica's nickname when she was a field-hockey goalie?
Joey: Big fat goalie!
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie.
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is?
Joey: Weekend at Bernie's.
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers an answer in Ross's ear.)
Ross: Ew! No! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Joey: Everyday use.
Chandler: Fancy.
Joey: Guest.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Two seconds...
Joey: Uh, eleven!
Ross: 11. Unbelievable. 11 is correct.
Ross: What is Joey's favorite food?
Monica: Sandwiches!
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?
Rachel: 14!
Ross: No, 19.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Monica: Maurice.
Ross: Correct. His profession was?
Rachel: Oh! Space-cowboy!
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job?
Rachel: Oh! Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
Monica: And processing!
Rachel: Oh, well... and he carries a briefcase!
Ross: Ten seconds. You need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It's, um, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, he's a transpons... transponster!
Monica: That's not even a word!
Joey: I call Monica's room!
Chandler: You can't just call Monica's room.
Joey: Sure I can. Standard shotgun rules: I'm in sight of the room and I call it.
Chandler: Damn!
Phoebe: Well, the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Monica: All right, look. I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel any better, it's all your fault.
Rachel: What?
Monica: Chanandelor Bong? Come on! We steal that TV Guide every week!
Chandler: I knew it!
Phoebe (singing): Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will... buy you some Adidas."
Frank Jr: Um, it's a lollipop and a, uh, a home pregnancy test.
Monica: Hey, don't mix those up. You could really ruin that lollipop.
Frank Jr: My sister's gonna have my baby!
Monica: I can't find garbage bags.
Rachel: Oh, I think I saw some in here.
[Rachel opens a drawer; they both scream hysterically]
Monica: What is it?
Rachel: I don't know! Maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die.
Monica: I can't believe we're living here!
[Joey screams hysterically]
Chandler: What? What... what is it?
Joey: Did you see the size of the closets?
Chandler: I can't believe we live here!